red feather dance, not usually something i would like but i loved it this time!

the few little retarded breaks were annoying but,,, the memories!

dancing, last year with a group of people, who i didnt know and now i am so close with every one of them!
meeting the best person to ever enter my life!
thinking about all the good times since last year!
thinking of all the new memories!
thinking of how different my life would be without those people... the people who are fundamental to my sanity,
the one person who is my sole truth in life

cheers to one year more out of an eternity together

so i found myself to be something i never wanted to be... the story...

last night was broomball for united ways red feather and i was pumped ! i was going with some great friends and i was so excited, of course, being as cool as i am i didnt let on!
the night was fun and then i said something i wish i could take back. i told *you* that it wasnt fair that you would just stop talking to me to talk to someone... you didnt even bring me into the conversation. "i've been talking to you all night kassya... let me be nice to people" and i started to cry... thank god the right eye started before the left.. the left welled up with tears but didnt do anything, so i wiped them away and dealt with it.
then, being on the regret roll, i said something else stupid "it seems to me that you would sooner do things with other friends than me! if i ask you to do something there is hesitation but if someone, anyone else asks, you're answer is 'yes' in a heartbeat!" to which i heard "i have done something with you for the last two weekends and we are constantly doing things" those things make me happy but i dont want to take up your weekends... i dont know....
god i am so sorry!

maybe taking a week off will be good.. i think right now i expect too much, i expect to be the centre of attention and i normally am, not only with *you* but in general. now i need to realize if i'm not the centre of your attention or the object of your affection, its better... its US! we rock!

i love you!

when i woke up today i knew it was going to be a bad day.

i only wish i could be one of those people who, despite the night before, wake up clear! totally clear!
they woke up and were able to just go on with their day... not be stressed until something or someone stressed them.
these people, do they exist? do they really exist? is it a false personna? one would think so just to make one not look so bad.

today when i woke up i felt the days stresses mounting, nearly killing me.

i am not too sure i have really woken up yet today... all day, a blur! where am i? am i going the right way? am i here? where am i?



today when i woke up... i just should have never woken up...